Thoughts 10 days after surgery

I'm finally able to get up and down with reasonable ease. By up and down, I mean standing/sitting in a chair/the bed/the toilet. I still cannot bend forward hardly at all, so don't ask me to pick up something off the floor. I have to do a deep squat, and unless I have something really sturdy to hold on to, it's pretty painful.

I can also lean back against a pillow and sit in the car for a bit - putting pressure on the incision.

For about 8 weeks pre-surgery, I was taking an antidepressant that had a side effect of helping with nerve pain. For me, it was to reduce the pain with a side effect of mood-boosting. I weaned off those and am now totally drug-free. It's so nice to be able to leave the house without carrying a mini pharmacy in my purse.

I am sort of freaking out the past two days because my right leg has been having these weird sensations. They are not painful, but just sort of tingling/numbing type feelings. The first night this happened, I didn't sleep thinking that my disk has re-bulged already and OMG I cannot go through this again. My family cannot go through this again. I just want to be able to play with my son and be a real parent instead of a half parent who has hardly ever been left alone with her child because she can't pick him up.

I've been reading online that some people have this sort of thing after surgery, or even have phantom pains as the nerves heal. I've also heard that it could just be in my head - the pain doctor told me about a condition where people are in pain for so long that they convince themselves that they are still in pain. I'm really hoping this is just the nerves healing.

As a side note - the bruise on my hand from the IV I had overnight after surgery is still purple and green. Yuck.

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