(This is my belly - taken at work for a publication I was working on sometime in January 2012. We couldn't find a stock image we liked, so we got some hands and my belly for the "perfect" shot)
(This was maybe 4pm, 1.26.12. My water broke at 2am, 1.28.12)
Even though it hasn't quite been an entire year, I am already looking forward to the baby's first birthday party. I thought it might be a good time to post my one-year thoughts before I forget them!
- As far as my weight is concerned, I weighed 247 the week I gave birth (at 38wks) and had made it down to 212 about a month ago, but yesterday weighed in at 220.4 - YIKES HOLIDAYS!! My pants barely fit - most of them are still too small to zip so I rotate in my "fat pants" every week at work. I have three pairs of jeans that fit - all of which are one or two sized larger than I used to wear. However, after going though the pain (physically and mentally) I've gone through this year, I'm trying to cut myself some slack in this department. I am refocusing for 2013 though. We do eventually want to have another child and I certainly do not want to start pregnancy at this weight.
- I still have the plantar fasciitis that developed in my left heel in October 2011. It comes and goes depending on the amount of pain in my back - isn't it crazy the way your body works? I always know my back pain is diminishing when my foot starts to hurt in the mornings.
- I struggle with mommy guilt while I'm at work a little bit, but I have some comfort knowing my son is being raised by his father instead of a stranger at a day care facility. I cherish the time I get to spend with both of them on the weekends.
- As far as the rest of my body is concerned - I'm flabbier than ever. I mean, it's pretty terrible. I haven't been able to lift a weight so even my arms and legs are just gross. I'm not really sure where to start when it comes to my chest - it's the worst part.
- Emotionally, combine a first child with a mother who cannot care for the baby and you have a recipe for a strained marriage. I'm not going to lie. This has been a hard year for the both of us. Really hard. But, we are committed to each other and I hope we are on our way to another peak and past this valley.