For all you's teachers.

Somehow I managed to stay awake through three hours of monotone boringness, that some like to call "class." I can't really call it that, except I'm paying for it, so that's what the receipt says. I hope this New Professor works on her gig before tomorrow night so I am not tempted to snore though it again.

In honor of New Professor, a few pointers for any of you thinking "Hey, I have experience in x field. I'm smart. I think I'll teach!"

1. Be lively. Record yourself speaking. If you are bored at the sound of your own voice, it's not a good idea to stand in front of 30 full-time workers for hours at a time and ramble.
2. Learn how to use the tab button in word. Do not send a syllabus in which you have used the space bar to indent your lines.
3. Be black and white. While it is necessary to use the tab button, it is completly unnecessary to make each class a different color in your syllabus. We can all read the dates.
4. Be brief. We hope you have some experience or some sort of knowledge in the subject you are supposed to be teaching, but we really don't need to hear every detail for the first hour of class.
5. Let us out on time. While we are all loving your monotone discussion of ethics, when that little hand, yep the ticker that keeps track of the seconds, hits the big 1-2 at the top at 8:50, you are required to stop talking and walk out the door. We aren't listening after that anyway, so you might as well let us go home.